Intently watching the baseball game for Father's Day.
I knew the day would come, but I had hoped it would be later than sooner. For 18 months, it was always about mommy. Call it Attachment Parenting, or whatever you want, but from day 1, I had always made sure Ethan and I were securely attached. I breastfed for as long as I could and even though that meant sole responsibility in nighttime feedings, that was fine with me because I got to hug him longer. I broke down when the time came to go back to work, and I know the guilt will probably never go away (but we have to do what's best for everyone). Well-meaning family [even my husband], friends, and strangers would say: "you carry him too much", or "you shouldn't let him sleep on your bed", "why do you pick him up as soon as he cries". I do all those things because I want him to learn as early as he can that mommy will always be there for him.
Ethan is the epitome of the attached child: very loving, very engaged and social, very curious, extremely happy, always smiling... many say that they have never seen a happier child… very intelligent, very INDEPENDENT. Alas, Ethan has had everything he needed in order to build a solid foundation: his mommy and her undivided guidance, attention, and patience… that is, until now.
Now, it's all about daddy and all but ignores me. Now, I have to BEG to get kisses and hugs, and I'd be lucky if I even get a nod. He gets excited when Daddy comes home, cries when he leaves, and he can walk around saying "dadda" all day long. He likes how daddy throws the baseball back, or how daddy lets him ride on his back like a "horsey", or how daddy gives much better (and louder) "raspberries". I love the fact that he's so excited about his daddy, but I can't help feeling a little jealous.
It's like all of a sudden they built this special bond that I can't quite figure out. Maybe it's a boys' thing. He clings on to daddy like a baby kangaroo in daddy's pouch. Not so much in mommy's pouch anymore. Im thankful sometimes for that since I think my back's gonna give out if I have to constantly lug a 25-lb toddler around all the time. But still, I can't help but feel a little sad.
This morning, our routine got sidetracked a bit since daddy woke up earlier to get in the shower so he wasn't around when Ethan woke up. Then, Ethan saw a huge suitcase in the hallway from when I started packing his clothes for our trip [which he's learned to realize that every time he sees one of those, it almost always means "someone" is going somewhere]. As soon as daddy came out of the bathroom, Ethan clung on to him like a leach. Mike sensed that Ethan might've thought that daddy's leaving again. And then it dawned on me. Ethan started getting really attached to Mike after he came back from his 2-week trip for work. Before that, he hadn't seen daddy while Mike was in the hospital.
Even though I still hope that this is just a phase and that eventually I will re-claim my throne as #1... I trust that he knows that mommy will always be there for him at the end of the day.
I just had to add this other photo from the baseball game since you'll almost never see Ethan with a hat on... he hates em!
4 comments:
Don't worry. It is a phase, and he loves his mommy just the same. I have a little one who did the same thing. Now he floats between us, and I love it. Um, now about the man-bonnet. YOu had me laughing my rear off. You couldn't pay that man enough. Something was wrong with his head!!
I am with Wendy, I think it is a phase they go through. I have no experience with that yet, but from what I have heard from my friends,they do go through these phases. I know he still thinks of his mommy as #1!
Cameron feels the same way about John, especially when he leaves for work. He is very attached to him. I feel a little bad about it because Ava required so much attention the first few months of her life and John was always the one to play with him while I fed/changed Ava. I know this may just be a phase. There is a special bond between mothers and sons and you and Ethan definitley have that bond! Great pictures!!!
I definitely think it's a phase! Teagun is ALL about daddy right now. However, the past couple of days he has wanted mommy again - makes those times even that much more special and make you smile all that much more!! :)
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