It's been almost 4 months since Mike got assigned to DC. Sadly, I've only been able to see him less than half a dozen times since then. We talk everyday, see each other on the webcam ever so often, send text messages. But damn, it's not getting any easier.
How could it?
The first thing Ethan said this morning was, "Ethan wants daddy." So I set up the webcam so he could say his good morning, but even at 2, he knows to reject the idea of a virtual dad. What could I say... except that was the best thing I could do.
It's been a month since the 'last' time we saw him. He got to spend his birthday here, and we spent every day of that week with no regard for time. Every kiss was special. Every hug treasured. It was like making up for lost time, or was it like saving for a rainy day - I kind of tried not to keep track. All that mattered was that he was here. And then he was gone, again.
We try to keep busy. I've been looking around, trying to narrow down, hoping to score that 'perfect' job... though keeping Ethan entertained is a whole job on its own. I've decided my website needed a fresh look. I started to re-visit those virtual volunteer positions. Suddenly, I find myself looking forward to the smallest things. Stalking posts on craigslist, walking around the mall, taking another trip to CVS or yardsaling... anything to make the time go faster. To make myself forget that I miss him.
Tonight, I miss him even more.
It's 1am and I can't bear the thought of slipping under the covers again without him there to hold me... to listen to me talk about my day... to kiss me goodnight.
I miss not having to worry about cooking dinner because he volunteered for spaghetti night. I miss cuddling on the couch to watch our favorite show on DVR. I miss hearing him and Ethan giggle while they chased each other around the house with imaginary laser guns. I miss complaining to him about frustrations from work. I miss him sporadically giving me hugs, telling me he loves me, just because he wanted to.
I just... want him back.
I don't want to wait a second longer, but I will. Because when all this is over, we'll be a family again.
How could it?
The first thing Ethan said this morning was, "Ethan wants daddy." So I set up the webcam so he could say his good morning, but even at 2, he knows to reject the idea of a virtual dad. What could I say... except that was the best thing I could do.
It's been a month since the 'last' time we saw him. He got to spend his birthday here, and we spent every day of that week with no regard for time. Every kiss was special. Every hug treasured. It was like making up for lost time, or was it like saving for a rainy day - I kind of tried not to keep track. All that mattered was that he was here. And then he was gone, again.
We try to keep busy. I've been looking around, trying to narrow down, hoping to score that 'perfect' job... though keeping Ethan entertained is a whole job on its own. I've decided my website needed a fresh look. I started to re-visit those virtual volunteer positions. Suddenly, I find myself looking forward to the smallest things. Stalking posts on craigslist, walking around the mall, taking another trip to CVS or yardsaling... anything to make the time go faster. To make myself forget that I miss him.
Tonight, I miss him even more.
It's 1am and I can't bear the thought of slipping under the covers again without him there to hold me... to listen to me talk about my day... to kiss me goodnight.
I miss not having to worry about cooking dinner because he volunteered for spaghetti night. I miss cuddling on the couch to watch our favorite show on DVR. I miss hearing him and Ethan giggle while they chased each other around the house with imaginary laser guns. I miss complaining to him about frustrations from work. I miss him sporadically giving me hugs, telling me he loves me, just because he wanted to.
I just... want him back.
I don't want to wait a second longer, but I will. Because when all this is over, we'll be a family again.
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