I read somewhere that if a couple thrives (or survives) the first year of their marriage, the chances for a successful marriage increases. Not that I think our marriage is unsuccessful. Our first year was definitely a little more arduous than most, and we had to work twice as hard to stay in the "honeymoon stage". Granted our priorities had to shift a little bit after Ethan made us a family, but I don't think either one of us took the time to re-evaluate about how we were going to keep "us".... US. Neither one of us thought romance was something we'll have to put on our never ending "to-do list".
When I'm not thinking about how to dreadfully catch up on laundry or what to fix Ethan for dinner, lately I've been reminiscing about how things were like before we get married. How exciting things were when we first started "going out"--- How my heart raced everytime someone even as much mentioned his name. How giggly I got knowing we were going to breakfast together. How often we exchanged love letters, trying to outdo each other by how many pages we could fill and how creative we could fold them. How I made up random excuses just so I could "run into" him sporadically throughout the day. How exciting it was to plan a night "out", even it meant illegally making smores and setting the backporch on fire. How he used to walk me to my door at 2am, even it was freezing temperature outside. How we stayed up all night sending text messages until one of us finally fell asleep. How shocked I was to get to my hotel room in Florence, Italy and was greeted by a dozen long-stemmed red roses for Valentines day.....
I had hoped (and still do) that the same affection, conversation and recreational companionship can carry on to exist in a marriage -- and not just during the "stage" of dating. Granted going on dates meant getting to know each other which could lead to falling in love and then eventually marriage. Why should it have to stop just because we said "we do"? I have to admit it's been hard lately -- between work, school, chores, raising Ethan, and sleep... who can find the time? Or am I just back to making excuses again?
I don't need to set the backporch on fire to feel nostalgic... and I don't need a box of fatty chocolates. I just want my "boyfriend" back.
When I'm not thinking about how to dreadfully catch up on laundry or what to fix Ethan for dinner, lately I've been reminiscing about how things were like before we get married. How exciting things were when we first started "going out"--- How my heart raced everytime someone even as much mentioned his name. How giggly I got knowing we were going to breakfast together. How often we exchanged love letters, trying to outdo each other by how many pages we could fill and how creative we could fold them. How I made up random excuses just so I could "run into" him sporadically throughout the day. How exciting it was to plan a night "out", even it meant illegally making smores and setting the backporch on fire. How he used to walk me to my door at 2am, even it was freezing temperature outside. How we stayed up all night sending text messages until one of us finally fell asleep. How shocked I was to get to my hotel room in Florence, Italy and was greeted by a dozen long-stemmed red roses for Valentines day.....
I had hoped (and still do) that the same affection, conversation and recreational companionship can carry on to exist in a marriage -- and not just during the "stage" of dating. Granted going on dates meant getting to know each other which could lead to falling in love and then eventually marriage. Why should it have to stop just because we said "we do"? I have to admit it's been hard lately -- between work, school, chores, raising Ethan, and sleep... who can find the time? Or am I just back to making excuses again?
I don't need to set the backporch on fire to feel nostalgic... and I don't need a box of fatty chocolates. I just want my "boyfriend" back.
This is a photo of me and Mike in 2003 - the very FIRST time we went out in Bosnia (not together, but with a bunch of other people). You could swear like we were together already then though!
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