The plight of the working mom

Little girls are always told, "You can be whatever you want when you grow up, and you can have it all!", but what they don't tell those little girls is how hard it will be - not because you are a female in a mans world, but because if wanting a family is one on your list, there will be sacrifices to be made.

Personally, I always said I wanted to be settled in my career, and be at a point in my life where I have enjoyed all there is to enjoy before I start a family. But when is that supposed to be anyway? I'm the type of person that is NEVER satisfied.. no matter the level I will always strive to be higher and better, so the concept of me "settling" is almost propesterous. And is there EVER a point in ANYONE's life where they can rightfully claim to have enjoyed all there is to enjoy?

Since the move to the east coast, my career has taken an uncanny turn accompanying my decision not to pursue the IT field. I am just two classes shy of getting my Bachelor's degree, and as deplorable as it sounds, that priority has taken a [quite easy] provisional backseat to preparing for motherhood. Do I regret not "finishing" before having a baby? I did get a diminutive feeling of guilt for not keeping my promise to my mom that I would graduate before getting married. I can honestly say that I did all that I could, and I sincerely believe that she understands in her heart that I haven't given up on that yet, it just has temporarily been put on hold. Given that, not an inch of my body exudes a feeling of regret that I am about to be a mother myself. Sure I miss going to the clubs, traveling without the [now customary] hourly pit stops, and every once in a blue moon I would crave for a good serving of strawberry margarita. *sigh*

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm terrified -- I'm terrified of when the day comes and I have to leave my baby to go back to work... to join the club of mothers who carry the massive responsibility of balancing a lucrative career and a happy family. I've seen it done, it's not impossible.. but can one be excellent at both? I've seen women whose careers had to come to a stand still on the corporate ladder because while the others worked on the weekends to impress the big boss, they were at soccer games. They had the extra worries of doctors appointments and teachers conferences or having to leave work early to make it to daycare on time.
That would be me.... because the flipside to this doesn't appeal to me - being a stay home mom just isn't my thing. Mike says as much as I would enjoy taking care of the baby, that my personality almost requires the intellectual banter at work and the headaches of never-ending deadlines. That's why I've been trying to brainwash him about taking on the role of the stay-home Mister Mom, but I'm afraid he's not budging either.

There are books out there of really successful women who have made both work so well, but they seem to all have extenuating circumstances like a stay at home husband or more money than God. Neither of which I have : ) Also, the "grass is greener on the other side" comment of looking at these women comes in to play. A lot of them LOOK like they have it all, but I honestly think a deeper dive into their lives would show differently. Can you tell me that they don’t feel pangs of guilt when they can’t be with their kids when they are sick or have a school field trip and they aren’t there? Can you tell me that their job doesn’t suffer when they have to attend parent-teacher conferences mid-day? What a toss up!

So here I sit... researching for daycares. With my determination and my husband's gift to provide support while keeping me in line at the same time... I KNOW that I will be successful at both. I just wish someone had told me when I was growing up that "hey, you can be whatever you want, but remember that it is hard to be the best Mom and the best worker in the world".