So they finally called to "inform me about their decision". Only I missed it since they called on Friday and we were already up in Ohio for Mike's great grandma's funeral.
Which leaves me all freaked out until I can call them tomorrow morning to find out whether they decided to keep me here and send me out.
How does anyone get any sleep with that in their head anyway?
I put my baby down to sleep in his own bed tonight... and I cried. He had been sick so we've let him sleep on our bed for the past two weeks, so he needed to get used to his own bed again. Before he got sick, he had a routine. Lights off except for the light in the closet with the closet door only slightly cracked open... the mobile round up playing the Winnie the Pooh song... his lullaby cd playing in the background... goodnight kisses from mommy and daddy... and he knows it's time for bed.
But tonight I cried because I started thinking about all the goodnights I'm going to miss if they decide to send me away. I hid by the door and just watched Ethan toss and turn and look for his mommy until he fell asleep... and I quietly prayed the time wouldn't have to come when I couldn't even do that.
I don't know if I could live on if I were to be stripped away from my baby...
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