Joyriding

Ethan's got a new favorite toy....... his brand spankin' new 4-wheeler power wheel. It took him 1 and a half seconds to figure out where his feet where supposed to go and that he needed to push the red button on the handle for it to move. Although he hasn't really figured out to hold down on the button, so he's still jerking a little bit -- kinda reminds me of the first time I tried to learn how to drive manually. The stirring..... now that's a different story. Most of the time, he's too busy waving to his imaginary fans or looking back to see how much he's smoked his imaginary racing buds.

Oh and notice the tribute to the Cleveland Cavaliers -- Mike's basketball team (who are close to beating the Pistons in the Eastern Conference!).

Back to School Again!

With everything else that is going on in my life right now, I have NO IDEA what possessed me to decide that this would be an "okay" time to jump back into the unavoidable, dreadful Calculus class that I need to finish my undergrad... (well, that and two other classes which I hope to finish by Spring). I thought about taking a class at a local state university, but circumstances right now don't allow much room for a traditional face-to-face class... so my next best resort was to take it online. I mean, I've taken online classes before.... but Calculus???? I think I've officially gone over the edge. Aside from the fact that I loathe the subject (which makes my interest in the class close to zero), the last time I even took any kind of Math was probably 3 years ago if not longer, so you can understand that I'm not exactly in the groove for limits and derivatives.

I just keep trying to tell myself...


You have to. You have to. YOU have to.


And if I just hang in there and by the grace of God actually pass the class at the end of August, then I'll only be two classes shy from joining the ranks of college grads who probably spend the best years of their lives striving for a degree that they want absolutely nothing to do with after the fact!

Day at the Ballpark

It's been TWO days since I've seen my baby and I miss him A LOT. Hospital rules don't allow kid visitors so Ethan's spending a couple of days with grandma and grandpa. I know Mike misses him too because this morning, he started to watch an episode of Little Einsteins!

Anyway, I finally downloaded the photos from Mother's Day and it made me miss him even more. It was his second time at the ballpark, and that time he actually lasted the whole game!

It's awesome seeing him watch the players at awe. He likes to raise his hands wanting the players to throw him the ball, and it's even funner watching him try to keep up with the ball when they start throwing it around.

Maybe we have a future ball player in our hands! :)

As for Mike, we're still at the Monitoring Unit and waiting for the doctor to tell us if they found anything on his EEG. I gather we'll be here for at least a couple more days.......

The War Isn't Over

Just as I was starting to sink in my all-time LOW in the look-good department, something happened today that gave me a small hint of hope...... I was on my break and on the way to get some donuts (just kidding - I was actually getting my afternoon dose of sweet tea) when some random guy driving past whistled AT me and yelled "Damn, girl!!". Normally, I would ignore it and keep walking. But this time, I couldn't help but immediately let out a small smirk. I never thought something so barbarically stupid would make me feel good, but you bet it did!

Granted...... I've done all the things that screams defeat in the war against the flab: packed up all the size 5 jeans and skimpy size small tops to make room for forgiving tunic-length shirts that (seem to) skim over my thicker middle and fuller hips, shopped for the South Beach diet and threw in the white flag after ONE day of starvation, chucked my running shoes in the backside of the closet so I don't feel too guilty everytime I see it.... *sigh*

I'm not naive. Ethan is 15 months old and gone are the days (FAR gone) when I can get away with "I just had a baby". Believe me, I even tried to get an extension by reasoning that it took me 9 months to put it on and so I should get 9 months to take it off plus a few more to recuperate. Truth is, even if I only ate a cracker a day for the next 6 months and ran the length of the Wall of China every night, I know that my body will NEVER be back to the way it was. Not that I had a smokin' Victoria Secret model body to begin with anyway.......... but still. It would be nice to get dressed and NOT have to worry about someone mistaking me for being pregnant.

Hold your horses.......... I'm NOT pregnant.

I just feel like I am.... because of this kangaroo pouch attached to my stretch-mark-designed belly.


And while my self-esteem issues will probably boil for a while until I get my lazy butt in gear (duly noted: these pouches don't dissolve on their own), I have enjoyed that split second of someone other than my husband acknowledging that there's still hope for this hot mama. :)

15-month Check-up

Weight: Whopping 24.4 lbs
Length: Staggering 31 inches

I wish I could brag about a perfectly healthy baby, but probably for the 6th time since getting his tubes put in, Ethan has (yet again) another annoying ear infection, so (yet again) on another set of antibiotics. Other than that, the ped reassured us he's "right on target" with all of his milestones. We've been in that office so many times (this year alone) that I've noticed Ethan gets pretty gitty when we go. If he wasn't juping up and down on the exam table, he was trying to get into the cabinet under the sink to steal some grape-flavored tongue depressors!

This is Ethan messing around laying down before the nurses came in to hold him down for his shots. In fact, he didn't even flinch when they stuck him on the leg! He got one on his arm and that bothered him for all 2 seconds then got over it. What a trooper!

And I just had to add this one of him putting daddy's hat on leaving the doctor's office... he couldn't look any more innocent if he tried!

Self-preservation

Have you ever felt like your life's being thrown into a trajectory of a whirlwind and you just don't know where it starts and where it ends? I do. I'm not even slightly excited that it's a Friday -- and that worries me. Frankly, I'm not sure what happened the rest of the week. I vaguely remember being in Toledo shooting engagement photos last weekend and now I'm here.. relentlessly trying to salvage what's left of my sanity. Writing has always been an outlet for me, and although it's going to be hard to share some of it, I'm hoping it'll give me back some sense of normalcy.

Mike's seizures seem to be getting progressively worse. At first, they were strictly sensory -- funny taste in the mouth, weird smell. He used to get headaches with it which led us to think it might be migraines, but that was eventually ruled out. The sensory episodes grew more frequent, though completely random. Then he started complaining about getting dizzy, or losing orientation. Still, we couldn't figure out whether they were related to anything or just arbitrary symptoms. There didn't seem to be a contributing factor or a specific trigger for any of it. Then about a month ago, he actually lost consciousness (couldn''t tell how long) while he was driving to work one day. We were very blessed that he didn't get hurt, or anyone else. But when he finally got to work and called me to tell me what happened, I could feel the fear in his voice. He suspected that it was a seizure so I suggested that he call his neurologist right away and that's when we found out (after months and months of seeing the doctor and NOT getting a diagnosis) that he actually has partial seizure disorder, otherwise known as epilepsy, and that he is recommend not to drive at least until we get the seizures under control.

Epilepsy? I couldn't think of a word more intimidating. My initial reaction was less than stellar, and I don't even remember if I sounded anything close to compassionate. I mean I knew Mike's condition wasn't like of the social stigma that people think when they hear the word -- person laying on the floor, entire body convulsing, foaming up on the mouth -- but I felt afraid of the unknown. I remember getting angry at the neurologist for taking this long to tell us what was really going on. On those doctor visits that I accompanied Mike, he'd vaguely mention the word "seizure", almost as if he was afraid to say it. I grew even angrier realizing that he's had Mike on the same medication for almost a year and done nothing but increase the dosage everytime Mike complains about the symptoms getting worse or more erratic. Obviously, the drug's not working... it would only make sense to try a different approach, right? But what do I know? Watching the weekly episode of House certainly doesn't make me an instant diagnostician -- but what I am is a concerned wife and friend. We have found another neurologist who has more experience with seizures but the appointment's not for another couple of weeks. He's also made an appointment with an epilepsy center (the only one in our state) where they might keep him for a couple of days for testing and observation but that's not til the end of the month. The appointments couldn't come any sooner -- it's like holding our breath..... until we find some real answers.

I know that it's expected for me to feel this way but I feel helpless sometimes, I feel that there must be much more that I could do. I worry that he would fall in the likes of those who let the epilepsy define who they are and only see the limitations, as oppose to focusing on the opportunities. Although I know that that's not the person I married, I feel responsible for constantly reminding him that. Since the diagnosis, there has been this unstated cloud of tension in the house. Even though he doesn't come out and say it, I know he hates that he has become dependent, that he is not able to just take off and go where he wants. I know he's frustrated that some people have made him feel as if his life is now pretty much "over" -- which couldn't be farther from the truth. Can I blame him? NO! A thousand times no, I can only stand by and be there for him as long as I am physically and mentally and emotionally able.

I just hope he knows that....

Tahsin and Justin

I took Tahsin and Justin's engagement photos this past Saturday in Toledo. We spent some time at the Museum of Art and then finished the day at the Botanical Gardens, just right before it started to rain. They're such a sweet couple -- both very conservative (they're the first couple I've shot who didn't want to kiss on camera), but you can tell they have a lot of fun together. I'm also shooting their wedding at the end of the month.. and I can't wait especially since they're having a traditional Indian wedding!

Quickie

I've been feeling a little bit under the weather... well we all have actually... so that's partly why I haven't posted much of any lately. My nights have been consumed by Nyquils and a screaming baby (Ethan's always been a great sleeper, but he's going through a phase right now where he wakes up in the middle of the night squealing until we move him to our bed). Those nights make up for really long work days... and frankly, I'm exhausted.

So on that note, I'll leave you with these random photos from the past couple of days... this great weather's gonna make for AWESOME outdoor photo ops. I'm uber excited, especially since I've been itching with the idea of spending some serious dough (*cough* a little over $2000) on a brand spanking new camera and high-demand lens. I know, it's a lot of money.... but I so want it! :)

Decisions...... decisions.......

Snitzels, Shopping and Monkeys

The trip to the Poconos was a bust. After a string of not-so-good weather reports and the realization that the Pocono mountains were actually A LOT farther than we anticipated, we decided that 1. a 20-hour roadtrip is WAY too much driving for a weekend and 2. it just might not be in the stars for us to be in a champagne-shaped jacuzzi after all. But we still wanted a weekend of just us... so Ethan got to spend a couple of days with grandma and papi while mommy and daddy pretend they were dating again.

It's kinda weird --- having to "plan" to exclusively spend time with each other. Before, we used to call in sick and drive down to Mexico for a couple of days without even a thought. We both miss that, I think, it just doesn't get mentioned too often. So on Sunday, in leiu of our good ol' spontaneous escapades... we decided to drive to the closest unconquered city we could think of... COLUMBUS. :)

It might be uncategorically unfair to compare with the Poconos, but we had a lot of fun. Got a nice suite (jacuzzi wasn't the shape of a champagne glass -- or any other cocktail glass for that matter, but it was still nice), enjoyed a very expensive dinner (the kind that comes with complimentary valet and everyone is dressed like they're meeting the president), watched a movie uninterupted (especially without having to worry about getting back early enough for the babysitter), drove and walked around the German Village in the outskirts of Columbus with a tourist map (minus the stroller and a diaper bag), and even got to do some shopping - WOO HOO (in a REAL outlet, unlike the Tamarack).

Quaint authentic restuarant called "Juergens" where I had my first snitzel since being in Germany about 4 years ago

Of course, by the time we met back up with Ethan and the inlaws (I have the BEST inlaws any girl could ask for), we couldn't resist ending the date weekend with a guilty "we'll-make-it-up-to-you-for-leaving" spontaneous trip to the zoo. Ethan is FASCINATED with animals... it is so awesome to watch his eyes light up everytime he sees an aquarium or a cage-full of monkeys -- I keep thinking maybe he'll grow up to be a vet one day!

He usually goes ga-ga over the monkeys, but this time, he was tickled by the sleeping kangaroos... LOVE that cute crunching face!

But his absolute fave has always been the aquarium...

I want my money, bitch!

OK, I about died laughing.... Pearl is the kind of landlord you want.... LOL!


[edit: I've taken down the video of the Landlord, but if you want to see it, you can watch it here]



The best part is in the end when she says... "come, mommy......"

Plans for a Wild Friday Night

One word, laundry. Exciting stuff.

I can't understand how three people can go through so many clothes. My conspiracy theory is that someone's been sneaking into our house, dumping their dirty clothes in our hamper, and sneaks back in later to pick them up after it's all been washed, fluffed and folded. Yeah, that's got to be it.

Either that, or I need serious help.... maybe magic.... or perhaps a maid? SOMETHING that will turn our dirty clothes from the floor to clean and folded in the drawer, versus the dark reality of "dirty clothes every where - dirty clothes sort of stacked together, clothes in the washer - clean/wet clothes in the washer - stuff wet clothes in the drier - empty drier / clean stuff not folded on the floor or in a hamper to be later on mistaken as dirty clothes so they go through the whole process again".

Sorting is half of the battle. By the time we finish sorting the blacks from the whites from the jeans from the delicates, we're already too poofed to advance to the next level (It gets so bad sometimes, we do what we call the "college-load" and just pile everything in the washer without sorting). OK, we totally get that it really doesn't take but 2 seconds to load them to the washer -- and these giant washers are now equipped with ultra annoying buzzers that alert you they're done spinning your clothes, so you're left with marginal room for excuses for not transfering them to the dryer standing 1 foot away. It's just so darn........ boring!!!!!!

But I can't stand it anymore. I swear one of these days, I'm going to start putting dirty clothes in the trash just so I don't have to deal with it anymore -- hmm... might give me an excuse to shop for a new Spring wardrobe! -- though that might not fly too well with the hubby. But for now, I'm forced to dedicate a Friday night to take control of at least the pile that is taking over our bedroom floor.



But before you feel too bad for me for assigning a Friday night with a cumbersome chore, be it known that Mike and I have other wild plans for this weekend at the Poconos. ;)

We're All Okay

Being away from family is tough. We have managed thus far to stay afloat since Mike and I have each other to rely on, but I always feared the day that we couldn't even be there for each other. I don't mean to overstate the obvious but that couldn't have been more true yesterday.

Mike, Ethan and I got food poisoning from some stupid pre-cooked rotiseree chicken we bought from Walmart the other night. Well, we're speculating it's that, since it's the only thing all three of us ate. It was horrible. Ethan was so sick that he just wanted to be held and cried the minute we tried to put him down. And Mike and I were so sick, we took turns throwing up and curling up into a ball until we gathered up enough strenght to take care of poor Ethan.

We're all better now, thanks to the meds. We took today off again per doctor's orders. Ethan's immune system must be building up from all the past illnesses he's had, that he seemed to recover faster than mommy and daddy. He was semi-back to his old bouncing-off-the-wall self by this afternoon... although Mike and I still had to take turns resting between the dizzy spells and Ethan shrieking for attention.

So no photos tonight. I just wanted to let everyone know we're doing ok.

For what it's worth, we're probably not having take-out for a while.

Easter Wrap-Up

Unfortunately, because of the weather, we didn't get to take Ethan egg-hunting this weekend. This morning though, we joined the ranks of holiday Catholics and attended the Easter service. Of course, Ethan wasn't too keen of staying quiet and listening to the readings -- instead, he wanted to throw things and run up and down the aisle to play with the other rowdy kids. After surviving the hour-long mass, we went home and gave Ethan the Easter Bunny's basket of goodies before venturing off for a nice bruch at the Cracker Barrel.

In it were letter blocks, a monkey book, some matchbox cars, a couple of shirts, bubbles, a few snacks like cheese sticks and twizzlers, and other little stuff. He was amused by the eggs we colored last night... truthfully, I think he just liked throwing them and seeing our reactions every time we heard a SPLAT. He played with those for a little bit, until he realized it was so much more fun to play with the plastic box his blocks came in with. Kids........

And last night, I was introduced to a very non-filipino tradition of painting eggs. YES folks, you heard it right... I have NEVER colored an egg in my entire life until last night. My parenting was attacked by a certain someone (Mike) who argued it doesn't make sense that I would take the time to carve a pumpkin for Ethan but not dye eggs. SO..... we did! and Ethan enjoyed breaking them...

Oh and I can't forget to mention about the shrinking Easter bunny. I swear, it SHRANK. See, this is how big it was last year (LOVE the look on Ethan's face)... compared to this year, where it's obviously gotten smaller!

Easter 2006

Easter 2007

Well, that's it! That was our Easter in an eggshell. Ha! Get it? Eggshell instead of nutshell? Nevermind. We hope that everyone had a Happy Easter! :)

Happy Keester

A coworker sent this in an email today and I thought it was the cutest thing... seeing the baby bottoms painted like Easter eggs --- I was immediately INSPIRED. I was this <--> close to buying body paint so I could paint my own masterpiece, but then I realized how difficult it would probably be considering Ethan never sits/stands still for more than 2 seconds at a time.

So to save our carpet the risk of having pastel polka dots, I decided to dig through my archives and came up with this instead. It satisfied my craving for butt shots and I didn't have to deal with any paint! These shots were taken back in July, which makes him around 6 months old in the photos.

*sigh* Where has the time gone?

Easter Photos

I debated for days whether we should take Ethan to get his photo taken with the scary Easter bunny again this year. I thought it would be cute to compare last year's photo to this year's, just to see how much he's grown. But I realized that I don't really need to do that to see the difference 12 months has done to my little baby --- So I decided to just skip the cheesy mall pictures altogether, put on his Easter outfit and had fun with Ethan in the front yard (which actually belongs to a huge rehab center).

It turned out to be a great practice run for Ethan since the big egghunt is going to be at this yard on Saturday --- granted we don't get too much snow (***keeping my fingers crossed***). I'm actually looking forward to seeing Ethan run around looking for eggs while Mike and I ridiculously scream "Ethan! Here!!! Come here! There's one here!!" while trying to make sure the other toddlers stay clear off Ethan's eggs. LOL

AND these are definitely some of my personal faves.... I have tons of photos of Ethan smiling... but here, you can almost hear him laughing. Don't we all LOVE happy babies?!?!

Two and a Baby

So last night was the first night in a LONG time that Mike and I got to enjoy a nice, quaint dinner out by ourselves. And I have to admit, it was nice to sit through dinner having adult conversation without worrying about sippy cups flying in the air. A couple of hours without the baby was refreshing, even got to take a nice little stroll downtown filled with college kids killing time on a Friday night and even just for a couple of minutes, I almost felt like one of them again -- where hanging out at the bookstore sipping mocca lattes is cool and sneaking a kiss or two in the parking lot feels unruly and exciting.

But those "date nights" are few and far inbetween. Most of the time, it's us three musketeers.

Eating out has become such a challenge lately. Before we even contemplate going to a restaurant with Ethan, we have to run down the checklist --it's almost like preparing for a battle. Sippy cups, check! Extra toys and books, check! Extra snacks, check! Extra pacifiers, check! Whole lot of patience, *sigh* check.....

Depending on his mood, the coloring books and crayons entertain him for a good 5 minutes or so until he realizes they don't taste all that good. We've learned that ordering an appetizer is best, because his patience never quite stretches until our main dishes are served. The downside to that is by the time our dishes come, he had already finished his dinner and wants to get out of the high chair and say hello to everyone who would remotely pay attention. Such a politician. Now, I know my son is uber cute..... but I'm sure there are people who just don't want to be bothered in the middle of their meal by a little person uninvitedly peaking to their booth. Luckily, everyone's been polite so far... even the times when Ethan threw his little temper tantrums.

Best appetizer in the world? Mozzarella sticks!!!!! They're solid enough not to crumble in Ethan's little fingers... and the cheese actually keeps him busy for a while.