The Cast is Off!

Day my butt fell on the slopes

6 Weeks after

Before they took the pin out

6 weeks after the gracious, snowboarding mishap, I am finally free from the cast. Doc says the x-rays “look good” and proceeded to tell me he’s going to now pull the pin that’s been sticking out of my hand and holding my shattered bones together the past month and a half. ‘Holy shit’, I thought to myself (although my face probably showed exactly just that). “Don’t worry, I’ll give you something to numb it”, he said. “It should slide right out.”

Bullshit.

Don’t let anyone tell you any different… that shit hurt. Pardon my French, but I think I’m still a little pissed. And he was COMPLETELY wrong about it “just sliding out”. He sprayed some stuff on my hand which I assumed was the fake anesthesia and proceeded to yank on the ball while I squirmed on the examination bed, watching in horror. I think I was still waiting for the numbness to kick in, when the ball unexpectedly pops out…. leaving the pin still stuck in my hand. After deflecting the moment of ooops splashed across my doctor’s face, he calmly asks the tech if they had any pliers. I may have been hallucinating at that point, as I pictured Handy Manny and his pliers yanking that foreign object out of my flesh while singing in spanish. Weird, I know.

Finally, after much pulling, the thing comes out and they give me gauze and tell me to put pressure before I lose too much blood. Ok, I’m kidding. It didn’t bleed that bad.

Doc said I should have full use of my hand in a few months……… A few months really? I was thinking a week? Maybe two? He sent me off with no PT, only advice to get try to get back on my old routines, squeeze a ball every once in a while and come back in a month.

My wrist is really stiff and I have zero mobility on the broken finger. I can wiggle my other fingers ok and even bend them to make half a fist, but that’s about it.

This is going to be the longest summer ever……..

I really did a number this time

Apparently, you just can't snap this one together.

I Guess Mommies Get Boo Boos Too

My mugshot at urgent care

My first actual BROKEN bone in my entire existence (not counting the hairline fracture at the tip of my finger I sustained as a souveneir from boot camp). This time, the culprit is that dang extreme sport they call snowboarding. Go figure.

I'll post my gruesome xrays tonight.

So I have to go in for surgery tomorrow – pre-op instructions say the procedure should take about 45 minutes but I’ll probably be out a little longer than that. They have to put rods to keep my bone in place and then perhaps cast it for the next 2 months.

I’ll be taking Friday off to recover, although I imagine I’ll probably just sleep it off tomorrow and be fine the next day. Then again, I thought initially it was just a sprain… and now it’s turned into a whole saga. A saga that Mike is very much familiar with… but not me!

I guess mommies break too sometimes……

More updates later.


P.S. It’s hard to freaking type with one hand.

This is why I shouldn't own a gun

Sh*t Happens

Ethan has always been independent. Rolled over on his own, started finger foods earlier than all the guide books recommended, wanted to pick his own clothes at 1...

Most recently, his biggest "I do it myself" accomplishment surrounds everything to do with the bathroom. He wants to brush his own teeth, shampoo his own hair, go to the potty without help. Lately, he's been locking himself in the bathroom to do his deed and only lets anybody in after he's done. Several times, I've tried to sneak a peak... and he shrieks "Get out!!!!" until you close the door.

Proud mama that I am, I usually don't mind cleaning up the mess he makes after each of these independent accomplishments. That is until yesterday...


DISCLAIMER: If you have not been desensitized to all gross things associated with toddlers, DON'T KEEP READING. Consider yourself warned.










All I remember was hearing the toilet flush, the door unlock and the cheerful sounds of "I pooped mommy! I pooped mommy! Look mommy, I pooped!"

I was getting ready to dutifully congratulate Ethan on a job well done (like I always do on these post-poop moments) until I realized something so horrific... THERE WAS SHIT EVERYWHERE.

It was on the tiled floor, on the rug, smeared all over the toilet seat, on the surface of the trash can, on his shoes, on his feet, on the counter, in the sink..... And to make the grossest thing I've ever seen even grosser..... I found it on his TOOTHBRUSH. What the hell was he doing with it, I guess I'll never know.

There was toilet paper everywhere, probably where he tried to clean up after himself. The weirdest thing is that his hands were completely clean, so I don't even know how this stuff got everywhere!

This boy has done some gross things... but this tops it all. And if you actually read through this and think it's funny... IT WASN'T FUNNY WHEN I WAS SCRUBBING ETHAN CLEAN!

Bathroom conversations

This conversation occurred early this morning while Ethan was on the potty.....


Me: Don't forget to push your penis down when you go potty so it'll go in the toilet, ok?

Ethan: Push the penis like this, mommy? [while demonstrating the said pushing]

Me: Yes, baby. Just like that. You have to push it down so it doesn't spray on the floor.

Ethan: Ethan has a penis.

Me: Yes, sweetheart. You have a penis.

Ethan: Mommy has a penis?

Me: [shakes head] No, mommy doesn't have a penis.

Ethan: Daddy has a penis?

Me: Yes, daddy has a penis.

Ethan: Ethan has a penis. Mommy doesn't have a penis. Daddy has a penis.

Me: That's right, sweetheart. Boys have penises, but girls don't.

Ethan: Sissy has a penis?

Me: No, baby. Sissy is a girl. She doesn't have a penis.

Ethan: Nah uh. Sissy has a penis.

Me: No. Sissy doesn't have a penis.

Ethan: Ohhhhk. Sissy doesn't have a penis.